27 Ways To Tell If You're A Fishing Fanatic

 

You know you’ve got the fishing bug bad if... 

  1. You reason that a 90 percent chance of severe thunderstorms actually means that there is a 10 percent chance of having really excellent fishing weather.
  2. Your mailbox is a giant fiberglass bass.
  3. Your spouse has to drag you out of bed at 8 a.m. to go to work, but you can wake up at 4:30 a.m. on weekends without an alarm clock.
  4. Someone says they have had a real tragedy in the family and you think they broke their Ambassador 5000.
  5. Your boat costs more than your house.
  6. You have more nicks and cuts on your hands - from fishhooks, fish spines and filleting - than someone who hand-captures bobcats for a living.
  7. You have more than 20 of any one lure in the same color.
  8. Your hair still has a hat dent in it even after you shampoo and blow dry.
  9. Your cat likes hanging out with you because of the smell.
  10. You tell your fishing buddy, "Hold on, I’ve almost got him in" when he is having a heart attack.You tell your fishing buddy, "Hold on, I’ve almost got him in" when he is having a heart attack.
  11. You look back over the last month and realize that you have kissed a bass (in celebration ala Bill Dance) more times than you have smooched your spouse.
  12. You have named more than one fish swimming free in your lake.
  13. You have any dogs or kids named Shakespeare, Zebco or Daiwa.
  14. You have considered becoming a teacher  so you can fish every day during the summer.
  15. You have more fishing rods than socks or underwear without holes in them.
  16. Your idea for the honeymoon cruise was a weeklong head boat fishing excursion with 25 other anglers.
  17. When your spouse asks if you are planning on going fishing this coming weekend, you laugh and say, "Good one Honey."
  18. You can tie a Bimini twist when drunk and blindfolded, but your Windsor tie knot looks like a snake that ate a gopher.
  19. When you die and you’re at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter asks if you want to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and you ask, "How’s the fishing?"
  20. Your outboard motor goes in for a preventive checkup more often than you do.
  21. Your entire leisure wardrobe consists of two Guy Harvey fish T-shirts, a ratty pair of shorts with pockets everywhere, and one pro bass "billboard" fishing shirt signed by Roland Martin that you are afraid to wash.
  22. You have a yardstick tattooed on your arm that highlights various legal fish lengths.
  23. You are the one sitting in the last pew at church wearing a hat festooned with lures, holding an upright fishing rod.
  24. You’ve eaten so many fish that have mercury in them you can tell the temperature without a thermometer.
  25. Your spouse says "It’s either me or fishing" and your reply is a prolonged humming sound.
  26. You have read this column and said, "Doesn’t everybody?"
  27. And lastly, fishing has been a family tradition for years and you are planning on passing it on to the next generation.

     

 

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